Like most of you, I’ve got a lot going on in my life. I’m a wife, mom, homeschooler, business owner, friend, teacher, etc. You get the idea.
I’m busy.
Last week I promised you I’d share a technique to help you get more done. I’m here to deliver!
This is it.
Yep. A kitchen timer.
Why Happiness Isn’t Enough
My oldest son has always been an “old soul.” He thinks deeply about things and yet wants to see the logic. He looked at me with questioning eyes that day. I had just told him I didn’t want him to have an easy, happy life. I wanted him to have a fulfilling one. A fulfilled life would mean hard work and painful decisions. Even at his age, he understood that. Why would I wish that on my child?
I just started listening to Emily Esfahani Smith’s book The Power of Meaning: Crafting a Life that Matters, and it reminded me of that discussion with my son. It happened over a decade ago, but we still talk about it sometimes. And I’m going to have to tell him about this book. It validates everything I told him.
I was having a discussion yesterday with my 14-year-old son. He felt that whenever you do something good you do it for selfish reasons. His premise was that our brain is wired to give us a dopamine hit when we do things like that so we do more good things because we get this feel-good chemical. While I don’t quite agree with him on this it was a really good discussion and made me think. I love it when that happens!
He is right. On a biological level, we do get these feel-good chemicals and positive brain stimulation when we do something nice for others. But if that is true, why don’t we do more of it? There is so much more to the story.
I’ve been listening to a fascinating book on Audible (have I mentioned how much I like Audible lately?) Antifragile: Things that Gain from Disorder by Nassim Nicholas Taleb. It is hitting on something I’ve been concerned about ever since I decided to share my Genius Paradigm ideas.
When I first started talking about the Genius Paradigm, I didn’t want to sound like Mr. Rogers just telling everyone that they are “special.” Not that they aren’t special – I love Fred Rogers! But he was called out as one of the reasons for the entitlement problem that we have today, and I don’t want anyone to think I support entitlement. I feel the people who blamed Mr. Rogers didn’t get what he was saying. He didn’t mean that you didn’t have to work for things or that everyone should get a trophy.
I have to admit, COVID has done a number on my book consumption. You wouldn’t think it would. I’m home more so I should have more time for that, right?
But no.
My schedule pre-COVID included a lot of driving for my job so I would listen to books in the car. I could easily go through several books a month. It was great! Audible loved me! Now I sit home in front of my computer. I have a lot more paperwork and I have to make sure I get out of my chair on a regular basis. My car trips recently have been to the chiropractor. Sitting too much in front of a computer screen evidently is not good for your back. Or neck. Or shoulders.
Things are opening up again thank goodness but I’m probably not going to be back to my old driving schedule. I miss books. I’ve got to develop different habits.
Over the years, I’ve heard so many people say they are uncomfortable teaching older kids – both parents and teachers! The subject matter is more intimidating, and let’s face it, we didn’t like chemistry or algebra when we took them in high school. How are we going to be able to teach them?
But if you give up because of those reasons, you are missing out. First of all, let me assure you that you don’t have to relearn chemistry or algebra – unless you want to. You can find someone else to teach it. And your kids need you.
What kind of story are you stuck in? The kind you want to read about? A real page-turner (in a good way)? Or is it a little bit boring and predictable? Is the protagonist (you) living up to their full potential? Or are they living someone else’s life by getting caught up in video games and TV shows?
It takes some work and planning to realize your genius and write the story you want to live. A genius paradigm is easy to talk about but not always easy to implement.
It’s worth it, though.
I was recently asked by a mom how I did it when all five of my boys were home. How did I teach all of them at their different levels? All the different subjects? And then grade everything too? I’ve had other parents ask how I do it all now, working full time and homeschooling only one kid.
I didn’t, and I don’t.
We all want to be a superhero to our kids. We are the cook, taxi driver, event coordinator, education facilitator, and chief bather and bottle washer, among many other things. And just like in the comic books and movies, sometimes the superhero fails. Sometimes they need help.