Why Happiness Isn’t Enough
My oldest son has always been an “old soul.” He thinks deeply about things and yet wants to see the logic. He looked at me with questioning eyes that day. I had just told him I didn’t want him to have an easy, happy life. I wanted him to have a fulfilling one. A fulfilled life would mean hard work and painful decisions. Even at his age, he understood that. Why would I wish that on my child?
I just started listening to Emily Esfahani Smith’s book The Power of Meaning: Crafting a Life that Matters, and it reminded me of that discussion with my son. It happened over a decade ago, but we still talk about it sometimes. And I’m going to have to tell him about this book. It validates everything I told him.
In the first chapter, she shares how she started on her journey to find meaning in her life. She discovered that our cultural norms have changed, using academia as an example. In the 60s, most people felt it was essential to learn to have meaningful lives. By the 2000s, it became more important to be successful. It seems like the pendulum is swinging back, thankfully. And she cited research that documented why it should.
This research is what got me excited about sharing this book with my son. The study had two groups of students. One group was told to go out and do things each day that made them happy for ten days. The other group was told to go out and do meaningful things each day for ten days. Right after the study, the happy group was riding on a high and was much more positive. The meaningful group was not as great but still OK. The difference was when they questioned them again after three months. Doing something meaningful helped more in the long term. Doing something that makes you happy may give you a temporary positive feeling. But it doesn’t last.
One of the characteristics of a Genius Paradigm is GENEROSITY. This is where meaning and fulfillment come in rather than just happiness. You can love learning and using your talents, but your genius isn’t complete if you don’t share them. Sharing your genius is where your life gets meaning.
I want my sons to be happy, but even more, I want them to have a more profound feeling of fulfillment. I want them to realize their genius. How about you? Are you ready to realize your genius or help your child realize theirs?