Homeschooling through High School
Over the years, I’ve heard so many people say they are uncomfortable teaching older kids – both parents and teachers! The subject matter is more intimidating, and let’s face it, we didn’t like chemistry or algebra when we took them in high school. How are we going to be able to teach them?
But if you give up because of those reasons, you are missing out. First of all, let me assure you that you don’t have to relearn chemistry or algebra – unless you want to. You can find someone else to teach it. And your kids need you.
When your kids are little, they need you there physically. You need to keep them safe and help them feel loved. You pick them up when they have fallen and hurt themselves and encourage them to try again.
When your child becomes a teen, they need you there in other ways. You still need to keep them safe and love them and help them when they are having challenges, just in different ways.
The teenage brain is a fantastic thing. It is going through so many changes in a relatively short amount of time. And it is an excellent time for your child to learn and grow. But also a scary one.
For them, it is a time of a lot of change. They feel the need to pull away from you and establish their own identity, but it isn’t always easy.
For you, it is hard because you see them doing stupid things sometimes, and you want to keep them safe. When you try to do something to keep them safe, they might fight back or pull away.
The part of their brain that helps them assess risk is not fully developed until they are in their 20s. So what you are seeing has a physical reason behind it. But they want to have more control over their lives. How can you safely give that to them? Maybe it would be easier to send them to school.
I don’t know about you, but this is the very reason I want my kids home during their teen years. In a large group, the stupid things kids can do gets bigger! And with the amount of growth kids can have during their teens, homeschooling has the flexibility to accommodate it. The traditional education system does just about everything it can to squash it.
There are just a few things you need: community, mentors, and resources.
I tell new homeschoolers that community is essential when their kids are little – not for the kids, for the parents. When your kids get to be teens, the community is vital for them. You still need it but having a positive peer group is a must for a teenager.
The right peer group is worth taking the time to find for your kids. It could be at a homeschool group or your church, or maybe just your neighborhood. It is where your kids feel like they belong and they can be themselves.
My youngest son is an extrovert, and I wanted to find him more opportunities to be around other people. I signed him up for a class with a homeschool co-op in a nearby town. In the homeschool community, we’ve belonged to for his entire life, my son is outgoing and engaging. He has no problem answering questions or taking an active part in a class. The other kids had been together for years in the new class, and he didn’t feel included. His teacher complained that he didn’t even engage in the activities like the other kids and rarely contributed to the conversation. For a minute, I thought she had gotten my son confused with another kid in class! It was a great class and lovely group, but my son didn’t fit. So I had to figure something else out.
My oldest son needed more when he was a teen, and that meant finding him a mentor. Or two. Or three. A father of a friend spent time with him to share ideas about chemistry. A few of the other parents in our homeschool community taught him classes in history, leadership, and acting. We found him a voice coach. He wanted to learn, so we found someone to teach him. Sometimes it cost money, but often I could trade my time. The critical thing to remember is that you don’t have to be their primary educator when they get older. Farm it out. Find other people that know the subject better than you. If you can have them take classes at the local community college, they can earn high school and college credit at the same time.
And if you can’t find people to help you, there are so many resources out there that can help you and your teen with their education.
If they are slogging through a subject they don’t really like, try and streamline it a little with a curriculum like “Learn Math Fast” – our fourth son used this to get through a couple of years of high school math in one semester. Or using the Crash Course videos for history, science, or other subjects. Teachers Pay Teachers has a couple of people who have made worksheets for these that will help document their learning.
If they love the subject, be sure to do what you can to support that interest. For instance, if your child loves cooking, incorporate it into their chemistry class. They can look at the history of food to cover their history requirements. They can even do a compare and contrast paper of their favorite celebrity chefs for their English!
The important thing is that your teen is struggling to define themselves. Give them the room to do that. Give them time with a positive peer group that will allow them to take some risks in a safe space. Find other adults for them to look up to and learn from. And don’t be afraid to change things up with their curriculum.
Give them the freedom they crave (within reason). Don’t put them in a box. It may be challenging, but it is so rewarding! You will be right there to see their personality blossom and on the sidelines cheering them on as they realize their genius!
If you’d like some help homeschooling your teen I have a Teen Coaching program. I work one on one with your teen to create an individualized education that will help them realize their genius. You can find out more information HERE.
I also have a parent workshop series that helps parents communicate better with their teens, motivate their teens, and prepare their teens for life after homeschool. If this is of interest you can find out more HERE.