When family or friends come to me with a challenge, I usually send them away with a list of books that might be helpful. It has gotten to the point that my boys will laugh, and before I even get the words out, say, “Let me guess. You have a book that I should read?” With the people I mentor and my students, I usually assign the books so that we can talk about them together and apply the lessons directly to their life and challenges. This article is the first in a series where I share books that I have read or know of that can help you in some way! Enjoy!
One of the first things I usually do with people is to have them take a personality test (or two or three). The more, the better. I suggest you take at least three tests. The last thing I want is for anyone to label themselves as one type of person. The idea is to learn more about yourself and your tendencies. In that way, you can accept the good and work to fix the negatives that might come out. Check these books out and let me know what you think!
- The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. He has a whole series of these so you can pick the book that you need. There are also excellent resources and the tests available on his website. I appreciate how identifying Love Languages helps me feel loved even when people might not be speaking my love language. I can translate their love language. It has also helped me show other people I love them in ways that I might not have before.
2. The People Code: It’s All About Your Innate Motive by Taylor Hartman. This test helps identify what motivates you. One of the things I like about this book is that it gives the strengths and limitations of each type. The object is to recognize these traits and gain control over them, not to provide us with the excuse of “this is just how I am.” I used what I learned from this book to help me relate better to my kids. It relieved some of the tension in our household.
3. Please Understand Me: Character & Temperament Types by David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates. This book explains the Myers-Brigg test results. Have you ever heard someone describe themselves as an INTJ or ESFP? Or any other combination of these letters? This is the book to read to find out more. They even have a second volume if you want to learn more.
4. The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People’s Lives Better, Too) by Gretchen Rubin. This test looks at how you respond to expectations. Are you an Upholder, Obliger, Questioner, or Rebel? I found the results eye-opening for me and her tips helpful. You can take her online test HERE.
5. The Enneagram Made Easy: Discover the 9 Types of People by Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele. I think the Enneagram can be a handy tool to learn about yourself. This book is an excellent introduction to it. I started with a much bigger book, and it was confusing and hard to get through. This one is straight forward and easy to understand.
Do you have any books that have helped you learn more about yourself? Please share them below in the comments!
Don’t for get to but Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.